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I Might Be In A Fight With An 8-Year-Old
I am an honest person. Every time I use a public restroom that has that toilet sink combo in the stall, I come out and tell anyone that is in the bathroom that “I totally washed my hands already”...
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A Mom’s Job Performance
You know how I feel about Oprah, (See Oprah Why So Deep?) so I won’t ever call what I had an Aha! moment. Let’s call it a, “Holy shit! That’s what has been pissing me off the whole time moment.” I...
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Mom Comes Up With New Ailment
You know those bragging moms who could talk to you for hours about their kids. How sweet they are. How considerate. They “do this, they do that”. I am not one of those moms. I might even be the...
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A Relaxed Mom Gets Scared Too
I admit I have had complete writer’s block. Since last Friday I haven’t able to think of anything funny, let alone write anything funny. I, like everyone else in the world, have had a hand over my...
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A Mom Loves babyGap And Peter Rabbit
My kids are thirteen, ten, and nine, yet it seems like only yesterday they were babies. I reveled in dressing them in their adorable babyGap onesies and I made my weekly visits to their store where...
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A Mom Can’t Put Foot Down
Don’t you love when one of your all time favorite movies is showing for a month straight on HBO? I have caught Parenthood with Steve Martin twice already. I’ll tell you why I love it. Even though...
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Kids Really Do Pay Attention
You know how we all think our kids can be really dumb. That wasn’t a question. But admit it, we think a lot of what we do and say is way over their heads. Because of that, we may curse at a driver...
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Why Do My Kids Need to Grow Up?
I am back from my family vacation in Colorado. For one of our dinners we went to hibachi. I am sure all parents have gone to hibachi. It is my kids’ favorite type of restaurant. Me, every time I...
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Gwyneth! Gwyneth! Gwyneth!
The other day I am shopping with Julia when a girl she knows approaches. Wearing a sweatshirt from the store, the girl asks, “Julia, do you have one of these sweatshirts?” Julia responds, “Yes,” and...
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A Mom Wants to Fess Up To Her Kids
You know you need a break from the everyday when you start offering sexual favors to your hubby if he would agree to take one of your kids to team pictures. You say prostitute, I say tired mommy....
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Why I’m A Good Mom.
How do I know I am a good mom? When you think about it, there are few things that we know for certain we can do, and were taught to do a certain way. Like riding a bike, tying our shoes, driving a...
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Awkward Awkward Awkward
You know how all moms will tell other women that they just can’t imagine what it’s like to raise a child until you become a mom yourself? Well, I can tell you exactly what it’s like to have a...
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Kids Getting Organized..A Mom’s Impossible Dream
My kids have been in school for two weeks. Feels like six months. Three kids, three sets of homework, three brains that couldn’t find their teeth without me. If you read, Mom Can’t Put Her Foot...
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It’s Us Against The Kids
I don’t know about your house, but there is one constant in mine. I’ll be having a discussion with my kids; it could be about them taking a shower, which believe you me, I have to discuss a lot with...
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A Mom Learns To Lie
Brad did this photoshoot right after he broke up with Jen Aniston. This is a little too honest. I am not this bad. Some might say I have the sensitivity of Brad Pitt while others might say I am the...
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Thanks, Selena Gomez!
Dear Selena Gomez, Let me preface this letter by saying that I had a very difficult morning before your concert. I had to go to the doctor to have leg veins removed. As I sat in the chair waiting...
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The Lohan Of Parenting
You are the Lindsay Lohan of parenting, I tell my friend. What do you mean? Well, you always say you are going to take care of the problem, but you never do. You do things to put yourself in a bad...
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Do Babies Come With Care Instructions?
No. My friends aren’t Kate and Will. Or are they? Friends of ours recently had a baby. It really is such an exciting and unbelievably scary time for them. New parents will get the necessary advice...
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LA Parenting
I just got back from my mother daughter trip to Los Angeles. It was great. Real mother daughter bonding. Even with her zingers like, Mom, you say the word “dainty” a lot. Mom, did you just fart?...
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I Get It, George Clooney
I get it George. I get it. You are suave, and cool, and rich. Everyone loves you. You are a prankster and a major do-gooder. You even funded a satellite to monitor activity in the Sudan. I can’t...
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